a big smile...

salam...
alhamdulillah...
akhirnya...arini lecturer dtg for last time..
she came n discussed with my mentor teacher for final result...

i feel so relieve....
brsyukur sgt2....
smoga dpt kputusan cmrlang..amiin
dn usaha mngajar slama ni dberkati allah...

next week will be my last week...
planning to have a small party with the students...
i also plan 2 give them a bookmark as a token of appreciation...
wutever it is...
i feel happy all along my practical...
happy for the students understand my lessons...
n like me as their teacher...

do u judge and punish others...

salam...

one of my friends said dat she don't judge people...
at first i thought ~ how good r u...
but then i realised ~ is it true?
no...whether u realise or not...
we never stop from judging others around us...
yes...we do judge people...
even we don't know them...
the least that u saw someone and u criticise his or her dressing or looks...
it's normal right?
we judge people everyday..and maybe every minute of our life...
when we judge someone or something...
it means dat we learn wut is gud...wut is bad...
should we do dis...or shouldn't we...
we can never stop thinking...
if u stop 2 think ~ that's mean u r no longer a human being...

but something is bugging my mind...
if it is ok 2 judge others...

is it ok if we punish them?

there's a vast difference between those two...
when u punish someone..it means dat u r not satisfied with him or her..or with someone actions or words...or anything...
n somehow u react negatively towards them...
meaning that u scold...u ignore...u hate...
and many other ways...

i wonder why there r some people who punish someone...
we r not a God n perfect in everything...
each of us is different from each other...
so it's so natural that we don't agree wif someone in many ways...
and we can do a lot of mistakes....intentionally n unintentionally...
but it don't give us the power 2 punish someone....
it is ok if we judge so that we learn about life...
but punishing people for their mistakes....we should never do it....
except we go beyond the law stated by the government...
if not...we should not be a judge who punish others in a court made by us...

the last one....

salam...

yesterday..i had finished my 4th observation wif my mentor teacher..
it was the last one...
suppose there should b another obsrvation...
specifically pair observation...
mentor teachr + supervising lcturer will come and observe at the same time..
honestly...i am hoping dat it won't b carried out...
i'm tired...
i felt breathless every time they came n observed...
bcoz during every observation i got really nervous..
it was indeed tiring 2 control your nerves and make sure everything goes on smoothly....
please mdms....no more observation...

i am thinking of going out 2nite...
to celebrate myself!

wut do the numbers tell u?

salam...

recently, my fren introduced a new thing 2 me..
but mybe it's not new 2 u...
~~METAPHYSICS~~
have u ever heard this?

using our date of birth...
add..minus...divide and times
they will come out wif an upside down triangle
wif numbers dat somehow show wut type of person are u...
wut are ur strengths n weaknesses..
n 2 de extend dat we can somehow know how much money would we have at de end of our life...
CAN U BELIEVE IT.....Can't u?

it's not dat i believe it...but...
why dun i give it a try?
yes....
human is always bothered by their curiosity....

i'm still waiting for de result...
as for u...would u try? or wouldn't u?
well...it's all depend on u...
trying 2 do it doesn't mean dat u believe it....

finally happiness came by...

salam....

i was observed for de 2nd time..
finally...i managed 2 get better marks than b4...
i was doing quite well..
the comments were more positive and constructive..
i was indeed very happy...

yet..i still don't feel satisfied wif my performance...
i'm hoping dat for de 3rd observation i can get higher marks...
if now i'm at de average level of performance....
i will be happier if i can end my practical with de perfect performance....
so...rite now..i have 2 prepare de best lesson plan for next observation...
Allah is always on my side give me blessing...
hopefully luck is on my side too....

de tense was at de peak!

salam...

T E N S I O N !
I juz couldn't say anything else except this word...
i was really sad and stressed after my 1st observation..
de lesson was a failure 4 me..
i juz didn't know how 2 prepare interactive + creative xtvties 4 de students
they very hardly speak in English..
how can i ask them 2 present and talk in front of de class?
was it possible?
or was i too dumb 2 plan a good lesson?
2 fulfil dis high expectation - was indeed too demanding 4 me...
i planned simple xtvties and provided guidelines..
as i expected - they couldn't answer!
it was only at de while-xtvt - i gave them structured questions
wut they needed 2 do was transfer the information from the passage into the blanks...
continued to post-xtvt - they were required 2 write a short answer of only three sentences based on the guideline given...
u know wut?
most of them couldn't answer....
it was not that they didn't know de answer...
they juz didn't know how to make English sentences...
if i were 2 teach them 2 write...i've 2 begin from de beginning...
start from ZERO...
i was very tensed....upset...dissatisfied....
i juz could hope dat during de coming holiday...
i could fresh up mentally + emotionally + physically...

bz...bz...bz....

salam...

it has been more than a month since my last post...
i've started my practical....
how is it?
hmm......
busy....and busy.....and busy......
if b4 this i only heard and read 'bout others' experience...
now i know how does it feel...
usually at de end of de day i will definitely out of energy....
but it's ok as enough rest will help...it's like refueling your car engine...
then...wut is my problem?
i am in stress all the time....
i don't know if others don't feel the same but...
i am definitely under a great pressure....
it feels like a giant and heavy rock is on my head....
the tense is sometimes unbearable.....
i feel like crying...no...i cried...yes...i cried...
i couldn't believe that.....
i juz couldn't endure the burden...
i was thinking of giving up...wasn't i?
hmm....~sighing....
how can i do that......
i can't....really can't...
i'm not sure how i will end my practical....
it's really hard....believe me....
a lot of challenges....
it demands me something more than i could give.....
o dear god.....
give me the strength that i need..
o god de merciful creator...
i seek 4 ur bless n i wait 4 de best....

~~~~~~